Broadcast

these r 3 diff songs:

all I want to do is lay in bed

drink cup after cup of coffee

and dream <3

Christmas Crack

. . . from Trader Joe's. They're like oreos slash thin mints slash candy canes?!#$%&$$$ I brought them to work to be cordial. And I gave them as gifts. The guy at Trader Joe's informed me that they sell out every year before Christmas, and asked me if I wanted another box or two. My brother's girlfriend mailed us a box last year, and they never got here, she suspects the mailman ate them. My co-worker puts hers in the 'fridge. OMG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Green Tea Ginger Ale

tastes so goood.

Urban Exploration

I never knew there was an official name for an interest in this. I've always been into exploration. Growing up I'd spend hours at the beach in the tide pools, and in the winter I'd go to the beach to collect shells, glass, and other odds and ends that washed up from Japan. I went on hikes on ancient trails where I had to leave offerings for Hawaiian gods or else be cursed or haunted (and I'm not talking about Diamond Head). My dad knew where the cliffs hit the golf course between the beach in Kaneohe and we'd climb the fences and hunt for golf balls in the thickets in the evening (so he didn't have to buy any). In San Diego, there was always new poetry spray painted on the walls at Scripps by the pier, and Jenna and I found Skull Island a deserted construction site/sanctuary under the I-15. Brandon and I explored a deserted factory in Delaware he found while he was skating, where he actually had to hoist me through one of the windows. We climbed something so huge we could see for miles, but we were in the middle of an industrial area, so no one cared. The walls inside had tags and poetry about life and love all over. I've enjoyed walking the trails in The Odyssey, a forest close to my cousin's childhood house in the outskirts of Columbus. It's beautiful to see how the place changes every season, something I am unaccustomed to. On the way there, there are abandoned houses and farms that I have stopped to explore full of tires, rusted vehicles, and kitchen cabinets full of pills and a few old photographs. I've had to be careful going to the 2nd story, as a lot of the floor boards are breaking, or all together missing. One house had a huge hole in the second story floor. I could stick my legs through it so that Derek could see them from the first floor in the living room. Anyways, my friend Chris recently visited Chippewa Lake Park where a carnival in Medina County, Ohio lingers on. I might have to make a trip out there, maybe with Derek. I've also looked around the world wide web a bit about this topic and there are lots of sites posted to visit all across the United States. I'd love to see some old California motels, and dead Las Vegas neon signs. Some of the sites on Ohio provide a lot of creepy places like burial grounds, and haunted children's homes, penitentiaries, and insane asylums. I'm not really interested in that. Those were made recently popular by those ghost hunter shows. I saw that there was an old luxury hotel downtown Columbus that's abandoned, I thought, it would be great to watch the fireworks on the roof, until I read on to see that there were squatters and homeless people living in rooms on certain floors. Why do I keep thinking of The Shining? Oh yeah, and I have had encounters with the police two or three times now.

Marina, Riley, remember that creepy estate sale this summer with all the owls? The house smelled so bad, and the ceilings were falling in. so weird and fun.

Derek and I, 2007

The Velveteen Rabbit

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a
thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

This has always been one of my all time favorite quotes. There is so much superficiality out there; it's often hard for me to seperate it from genuine, sincere, REALness. Our focus on appearance is overwhelming. One of my biggest things is to never be stagnant. The smell of stagnant water stinks. It is not enough to be merely treading water all the time. I want to be a doer and a go getter. I want to make change, I want to affect people in a positive way. I don't want to be "getting by"or "going through the motions". I also never want to be caught in a situation where I "settle" and take something that's easy, comfortable, or convenient. I want to always stay true to who I am, but I want to let others in. I want to learn from others, and not be afraid to really feel. I will accomplish this with heart, not vanity.

Pictures of Walls

http://www.picturesofwalls.com/

fight apathy

no man is free until all men are free - john hossack

sleeping is the only love

Delirium

My favorite sketch from the movie, Coffee and Cigarettes

GZA, RZA, and Bill Ground Hog Day Ghost Bustin' Ass Murray

M. Ward & Wyland

so i went to a whale
and i said killer whale pleease
what do you do when your true love leaves?

There used to be huge wyland murals in hawaii when i was growing up.
i love them.

Inflammatory Essay

DON'T TALK DOWN TO ME. DON'T BE
POLITE TO ME, DON'T TRY TO MAKE ME
FEEL NICE. DON'T RELAX. I'LL CUT THE
SMILE OFF YOUR FACE. YOU THINK I DON'T
KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. YOU THINK I'M
AFRAID TO REACT. THE JOKE'S ON YOU. I'M
BIDING MY TIME, LOOKING FOR THE SPOT.
YOU THINK NO ONE CAN REACH YOU, NO
ONE CAN HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE. I'VE BEEN
PLANNING WHILE YOU'RE PLAYING. I'VE
BEEN SAVING WHILE YOU'RE SPENDING.
THE GAME IS ALMOST OVER SO IT'S TIME
YOU ACKNOWLEDGE ME. DO YOU WANT TO
FALL NOT EVER KNOWING WHO TOOK YOU?
~ JENNY HOLZER

fitness

Equinox Fitness is a fitness gym geared towards the upper crust of society with montly dues from $120-$170 a month. Their gyms are all located in major metropolitan cities in the US, with two special clubs in New York and California that cost and offer more. In January 2008, the "What's Your After?" advertising campaign, shot by fashion photographer Ellen von Unwerth, was launched appearing in Vanity Fair, US Weekly, the New York Post, and LA Times.

The ad campaign created a lot of controversy upon its release. I especially have a problem with the third ad, where one woman has achieved "happiness" by working out, and the other women who have resorted to "cheating" or plastic surgery, are still unhappy. It's not even realistic. If I worked out I'd get muscles, not twig arms. The entire campaign is so shallow, it's humorous. I wonder if people take the time to pick apart what these ads are really saying. We are constantly being impeded by images loaded with meaning. They were all carefully constructed.

I respond better to the Nike ads that say real is beautiful. They're motivating, honest, and inspiring. I want to own my body.

Nike just published a survey of 10,000 young European women confirming what we've always known: playing sport improves your self-esteem, perception of success, pride, sex drive and self image. On average, half the women quizzed were involved in sport, with Germany boasting the most active young women, with 67% of the participants involved in sport, while Turkey had the least at just 41%. But it's not just the obvious physical benefits that have girls stoked on sport - the survey also found sport makes women stronger emotionally. Of those involved in sport, 41% said they could 'conquer the world', 77% have more confidence in themselves, 77% feel successful, 85% feel self pride, while 62% have raised self esteem. Plus, 68 per cent of those ladies involved in sport, said that sport had an even bigger positive impact on their lives - in their career, education, social lives and relationships.

I've finally fallen out of my workout frenzy as a collegiate athlete. I am retired! Alas, I still find it important to keep up my physical activity. The sooner you start a routine, the easier it is to adapt that lifestyle permently. An active lifestyle for life. I've had a good year off.

The Diamond Sutra

This fleeting world
is like a star at dawn,
a bubble in a stream,
a flash of lightning
in a summer cloud
a flickering lamp,
a phantom, and a dream . . .

"Like a meteor, like darkness, as a flickering lamp, An illusion, like hoar-frost or a bubble, Like clouds, a flash of lightning, or a dream: So is all conditioned existence to be seen."

Ann Hamilton

Ann Hamilton is one of contemporary art's most influential voices. She has a lot of awards, and shows internationally. She was in my AP art history textbook in high school. I don't know if it was Gardener or Stokstad. Anyways, her son was in the middle school art class I observed all quarter. tf

Playmobil Stop-Animation Dream

I can't stop watching these. Lego ones are good too.

SHIT-HEAD

I was born that way.
I can't help it.

Example found:
typewriter letter to my nana from my mom's mom circa 1990
(I was 2.5 years old)
excerpt:

Katie can talk in sentences already. She can be a stubborn little thing -- gives
Adison a hard time. She should have been the boy. She sure
loves her books --
when he is at school, she will drag out about 4 or 5
of
them and sit there and
"read" aloud. Jim's feelings were really hurt
because
she still doesn't want
much to do with him. She was better than
last time;
but often when he would talk
to her she
would ignore him and
if he'd try to pick her up she'd run
or
scream.

Apparently, I've always been this way. I just don't like a lot of people. Most people, generally. Especially guys. It's funny since I told Adison at the bar, last weekend, that I don't like anyone in my class, and he said, "Yea, but Katie, you don't like anyone ever anyways." HA! I guess I pulled these same moves over on my dad when he came home from Desert Storm. I wouldn't let him touch me for months, and if he tried to take me out of my car seat, I'd scream bloody murder. I was pissed he left my mom and us when I was 2 years old. I guess I've always been a dick. Adison has a lot of tolerance cos he had to put up wif ME for a little sister. I got away with a lot. Different friends are always telling me seperately that I'm so independent, and that I'll just Do whatever I WANT to do. Fuck ya. FUCK EVERYBODY. 'cept my friends. I'm lucky to have you guys, hopefully I'm not a dick too often. I don't mean it. I'm soft, and sensitive, and girly on the inside. I think there's few people who really get me, or I have let in. Also I think nature vs nurture and experience in terms of consistent character is fascinating. I like hearing stories about what I was like when I was little. My family agrees I was a shit-head. They'll miss me when I move out though. Who am I? It's like a life long question. We're always changing.

i⋅den⋅ti⋅ty
-the state or fact of remaining the same one or ones, as under varying aspects or conditions.
-the condition of being oneself or itself, and not another.

So, to find consistencies, is identifying with your own identity.

Hand Turkeys

holidays, down comforters, snow, evening, eggnog, family, cousins, dead trees, scarves, love, drunk phone calls, glitter, books, library, studying, christmas trees, cidar, chai, kissing, shopping, vinyl, new years, new hair cuts, fighting, crying, smiling.

TOKYO POLICE CLUB

love is like fairies...

Donny Miller

I'm gonna friend Donny Miller on myspace 'cos his art is really good. http://www.donnymiller.com/

www.myspace.com/donnymiller

CMA

I spend time as an intern or assistant in the education department downtown at the Columbus Museum of Art, sooooooo I have membership passes, so if anyone wants to go...lemme know. Right now they have a floor installation of like rainbow epoxy resign by Peter Zimmerman ... and you can walk on it. There are Diane Arbussssssses. A giant Chihuly. Ipod tours with podcasts. I'm thinkin I really enjoy hangin out in museums. I've already been to the warhol show 3 times, and the hopkins gallery has some cool stuff right now too. im goin to the urban arts space downtown next monday for fReE fOoD blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa reception ;) ;) ;)

BRAT

At around the 1.5-2 year mark of living somewhere I always tend to become very unhappy. I'm afraid I will never be happy anywhere. A guy in Ocean Beach once told me how beautiful I was and that he really hoped I found what I was looking for. Looking for? What did he mean? I tried to ask him, and he couldn't explain my disposition. We can obviously find many flaws with ourselves, but this one in particular gets me. If I leave Columbus it will be my 10th move. Will I move again shortly after? Am I chasing something? Nothing? Am I afraid of being abandoned? If I leave first, I can never be left. So, I will leave you first. Is this a game I play? bed-head

"I have lost all sense of home, having moved about so much. It means to me now — only that place where the books are kept." -John Steinbeck

brats
+Regardless of race, religion, nationality, or gender, brats might identify more with other highly mobile children than with non-mobile ones.
+Some can struggle to develop and maintain deep, lasting relationships, and can feel like outsiders to normal culture.
+Their transitory lifestyle can hinder potential for constructing concrete relationships with people and developing emotional attachments to specific places, which may later develop into psychologically developmental disorders.
+They may not develop strong relations with people or places, but can form strong connections with the communities in which they find themselves.
+They grow up in communities that actively condemn racist comments. The issue of race diminishes among brats. The community is normally a stronger bond than the differences of race.
+Because they are constantly making new friends to replace the ones that they have lost, they are often more outgoing and independent. Eighty percent of Brats claim that they can relate to anyone, regardless of differences such as race, ethnicity, religion, or nationality.
+Rather than develop problem-solving skills, there is a temptation to simply leave a problem without resolving it. If a person does not like somebody or gets into a fight, they know that in a few years somebody will move and the problem will disappear.
+When a parent is stationed without his family, the children experience the same emotions as children of divorced parents. In addition to the effects of the divorce, brats have additional concerns. When a family member is sent away, the family does not always know where they are going or when (or if) they will return.

Aaron Young

I feel like a permanent vagrant.

Jeongmee Yoon

Talk about gender stereotypes. For this project, Jeongmee Yoon photographed children in their rooms with all their pink (if they were a girl) or blue (if they were a boy) possessions.

Kerry Skarbakka

"Martin Heidegger described human existence as a process of perpetual falling, stating that it is the responsibility of each individual to “catch ourself” from our won uncertainty. My work is in response to this delicate state. It questions what it means to resist the struggle, to simply let go, and the consequences of holding on. The images stand as reminders that we are all vulnerable to losing our footing and grasp, symbolizing the precarious balancing act between the struggle against our desire to survive and our fantasy to transcend our humanness."

playbizzle

i looooove playboyyyy bunniessss. They are so cute and funny and gross @ the same time. I just bought some playboy bunnyyy socks. and I really like the old pictures. last month i read a lot of poetry. this month im just gonna wear my new socks.