Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Marina, Riley, remember that creepy estate sale this summer with all the owls? The house smelled so bad, and the ceilings were falling in. so weird and fun.
Derek and I, 2007
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a
thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
This has always been one of my all time favorite quotes. There is so much superficiality out there; it's often hard for me to seperate it from genuine, sincere, REALness. Our focus on appearance is overwhelming. One of my biggest things is to never be stagnant. The smell of stagnant water stinks. It is not enough to be merely treading water all the time. I want to be a doer and a go getter. I want to make change, I want to affect people in a positive way. I don't want to be "getting by"or "going through the motions". I also never want to be caught in a situation where I "settle" and take something that's easy, comfortable, or convenient. I want to always stay true to who I am, but I want to let others in. I want to learn from others, and not be afraid to really feel. I will accomplish this with heart, not vanity.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
POLITE TO ME, DON'T TRY TO MAKE ME
FEEL NICE. DON'T RELAX. I'LL CUT THE
SMILE OFF YOUR FACE. YOU THINK I DON'T
KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. YOU THINK I'M
AFRAID TO REACT. THE JOKE'S ON YOU. I'M
BIDING MY TIME, LOOKING FOR THE SPOT.
YOU THINK NO ONE CAN REACH YOU, NO
ONE CAN HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE. I'VE BEEN
PLANNING WHILE YOU'RE PLAYING. I'VE
BEEN SAVING WHILE YOU'RE SPENDING.
THE GAME IS ALMOST OVER SO IT'S TIME
YOU ACKNOWLEDGE ME. DO YOU WANT TO
FALL NOT EVER KNOWING WHO TOOK YOU?
~ JENNY HOLZER
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The ad campaign created a lot of controversy upon its release. I especially have a problem with the third ad, where one woman has achieved "happiness" by working out, and the other women who have resorted to "cheating" or plastic surgery, are still unhappy. It's not even realistic. If I worked out I'd get muscles, not twig arms. The entire campaign is so shallow, it's humorous. I wonder if people take the time to pick apart what these ads are really saying. We are constantly being impeded by images loaded with meaning. They were all carefully constructed.
I respond better to the Nike ads that say real is beautiful. They're motivating, honest, and inspiring. I want to own my body.
Nike just published a survey of 10,000 young European women confirming what we've always known: playing sport improves your self-esteem, perception of success, pride, sex drive and self image. On average, half the women quizzed were involved in sport, with Germany boasting the most active young women, with 67% of the participants involved in sport, while Turkey had the least at just 41%. But it's not just the obvious physical benefits that have girls stoked on sport - the survey also found sport makes women stronger emotionally. Of those involved in sport, 41% said they could 'conquer the world', 77% have more confidence in themselves, 77% feel successful, 85% feel self pride, while 62% have raised self esteem. Plus, 68 per cent of those ladies involved in sport, said that sport had an even bigger positive impact on their lives - in their career, education, social lives and relationships.
I've finally fallen out of my workout frenzy as a collegiate athlete. I am retired! Alas, I still find it important to keep up my physical activity. The sooner you start a routine, the easier it is to adapt that lifestyle permently. An active lifestyle for life. I've had a good year off.
Friday, December 5, 2008
This fleeting world
is like a star at dawn,
a bubble in a stream,
a flash of lightning
in a summer cloud
a flickering lamp,
a phantom, and a dream . . .
"Like a meteor, like darkness, as a flickering lamp, An illusion, like hoar-frost or a bubble, Like clouds, a flash of lightning, or a dream: So is all conditioned existence to be seen."
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I can't help it.
typewriter letter to my nana from my mom's mom circa 1990
(I was 2.5 years old)
Katie can talk in sentences already. She can be a stubborn little thing -- gives
Adison a hard time. She should have been the boy. She sure
loves her books --
when he is at school, she will drag out about 4 or 5
them and sit there and
"read" aloud. Jim's feelings were really hurt
she still doesn't want
much to do with him. She was better than
but often when he would talk
to her she
would ignore him and
if he'd try to pick her up she'd run
Apparently, I've always been this way. I just don't like a lot of people. Most people, generally. Especially guys. It's funny since I told Adison at the bar, last weekend, that I don't like anyone in my class, and he said, "Yea, but Katie, you don't like anyone ever anyways." HA! I guess I pulled these same moves over on my dad when he came home from Desert Storm. I wouldn't let him touch me for months, and if he tried to take me out of my car seat, I'd scream bloody murder. I was pissed he left my mom and us when I was 2 years old. I guess I've always been a dick. Adison has a lot of tolerance cos he had to put up wif ME for a little sister. I got away with a lot. Different friends are always telling me seperately that I'm so independent, and that I'll just Do whatever I WANT to do. Fuck ya. FUCK EVERYBODY. 'cept my friends. I'm lucky to have you guys, hopefully I'm not a dick too often. I don't mean it. I'm soft, and sensitive, and girly on the inside. I think there's few people who really get me, or I have let in. Also I think nature vs nurture and experience in terms of consistent character is fascinating. I like hearing stories about what I was like when I was little. My family agrees I was a shit-head. They'll miss me when I move out though. Who am I? It's like a life long question. We're always changing.
-the state or fact of remaining the same one or ones, as under varying aspects or conditions.
-the condition of being oneself or itself, and not another.
So, to find consistencies, is identifying with your own identity.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
"I have lost all sense of home, having moved about so much. It means to me now — only that place where the books are kept." -John Steinbeck
+Regardless of race, religion, nationality, or gender, brats might identify more with other highly mobile children than with non-mobile ones.
+Some can struggle to develop and maintain deep, lasting relationships, and can feel like outsiders to normal culture.
+Their transitory lifestyle can hinder potential for constructing concrete relationships with people and developing emotional attachments to specific places, which may later develop into psychologically developmental disorders.
+They may not develop strong relations with people or places, but can form strong connections with the communities in which they find themselves.
+They grow up in communities that actively condemn racist comments. The issue of race diminishes among brats. The community is normally a stronger bond than the differences of race.
+Because they are constantly making new friends to replace the ones that they have lost, they are often more outgoing and independent. Eighty percent of Brats claim that they can relate to anyone, regardless of differences such as race, ethnicity, religion, or nationality.
+Rather than develop problem-solving skills, there is a temptation to simply leave a problem without resolving it. If a person does not like somebody or gets into a fight, they know that in a few years somebody will move and the problem will disappear.
+When a parent is stationed without his family, the children experience the same emotions as children of divorced parents. In addition to the effects of the divorce, brats have additional concerns. When a family member is sent away, the family does not always know where they are going or when (or if) they will return.